I am sorry it has been over a week since I last wrote, but with travelling to MN and finishing up editing wedding photos, blogging had to take a back seat. I am jumping back and forth between Simone Weil and Kierkegaard for my reading this summer. I know, I think I bit off more than I can chew, but they are both keeping me interested so I’ll keep it up. Don’t worry, I am mixing in some Rumi and other poetry to offset it all!

I was reading the chapter “To Accept the Void” in Gravity and Grace the other day and this section jumped out at me:

“A time has to be gone through without any reward, natural or supernatural. 

 

     The world must be regarded as containing something of a void in order that it may have the need of God. That presupposes evil.

 

     To love truth means to endure the void and, as a result, to accept death. Truth is on the side of death.

 

    Man only escapes from the laws of this world in lightening flashes. Instants when everything stands still, instants of contemplation, of pure intuition, of mental void, of acceptance of the moral void. It is through such instants that he is capable of the supernatural.

 

     Whoever endures a moment of the void either receives the supernatural bread or falls. It is a terrible risk but one that must be run, even during the instant when hope fails. But we must not throw ourselves into it.”

I know that this is a long excerpt to make you read but I felt it necessary to include it. This may be a two-part or many-part blog as there is a lot to unpack!

The very first sentence itself speaks deeply to me at this time in my life. There have been many instances over the last year where I have felt rewarded in many ways, but in general this has been a tough year in seeing fruits of my labor. I know a lot has been done, yet by the very nature of the work, fruit is at times unseen. I think part of this is due to what I wrote in my last Musing. I don’t stop to see the absurd or rely on the strength of the absurd. But this quote from Simone frees me in a sense. Perhaps this void, this dry spell over the past few months is just preparing me to see the “reward”. What is most freeing is that these voids are necessary. Thank GOD!

I am also struck with the necessity to stay in a place to see reward. I have spent much of my life moving from place to place and event to event, but I am being taught that I need to stay in one place for a while in order to see fruit. I would often move to places and be drawn to places where I felt there would be reward (or something unique and exciting). Or, I would leave a place because sometimes I would feel a void. It is funny how being taken out of a place can give new eyes and revelation. This reality has become apparent to me as I sit in a coffee shop in downtown Minneapolis. I realize and hope that when I go back to Tacoma, with renewed and re-energized eyes that perhaps I will see the fruits of the past year in a clearer way. Perhaps not, this would be fine with me as well, as it is important to sit in the void and expect the absurd to happen.

What I can perhaps hope for is that there is a higher power acting in the void. Much as the transcendent was active in the chaotic void of the universe before creation. I love the imagery in the creation account. A direct translation would be that God brooded over the chaos. Much like a protective hen holds the developing eggs within her wings, or as a penguin protects the maturing egg at its feet. I would like to think that this is what God is doing in the chaos or void of my life. That this waiting, this desert, is in fact a blessing. That I am the egg being brooded over, continually developing, growing, and changing inside. Now what I need to work on is being able to rest in the chaos and comforting warmth of the transcendent, something higher than I.

This I suppose just proves Simone’s point, that in fact the world does have something of a void. Maybe this void was created in the midst of that chaos in order for us to need a higher power, for us to depend on a God. 

I think I will end here as it is getting late and I start to ramble when I get tired. I will continue my thoughts tomorrow and pick up where I left off. Thanks again to those of you reading this. Please feel free to leave comments, I would love to discuss this stuff with you all. Pacem.

“If there were no eternal conciousness in a man, if at the bottom of everything there were only a wild ferment, a power that twisting in dark passions produced everything great or inconsequential; if an unfathomable, insatiable emptiness lay hid beneath everything, what would life be but despair?” - from the cover of Fear and Trembling

I am reading Soren Kierkegaard’s Fear and Trembling. I must admit that I approached this book with much fear and trembling. It has been a long time since I have tried to tackle anything in the realm of Philosophy. I am surprised at how approachable this book is. So far Kierky has made everything clear. For those of you who don’t know, this book revolves around the events of Abraham and Isaac. So far Soren is talking through the paradox of that fact that although Abraham is a ‘father of the faith’ and praised by many, he is also to an extent a murderer. There are many things I wish I had time to write about. There is much to ruminate and ruminate I will. I want to share one thing that jumped out at me today. This nugget of philosophical/theological wisdom is that of relying on the strength of the absurd.

I must confess that I often do not do this. I struggle with the absurdity of God. I don’t expect the absurd. If only we were to focus in on the absurd how much more would we see the divine and experience that which is transcendent? Does it take suspending human reason to truly enact faith?

Kierky also talks about the idea that in the physical world we are bound by finitude, that which has limits or bounds. But, in the spiritual world there is infinitude. Options are limitless and therefore can be absurd.

Again, a paradox. Why is it that faith and spirituality involve so many of these? Perhaps it is so that we learn to function in both realms. It is impossible to function in just one. Many try to solely make sense of the world in the spiritual or infinite and others try to use reason and human calculations. Each of these bring one to a point and then it dead ends. Perhaps that is faith, a collision of the infinite and finite. Maybe this is what creates absurdity. It is the infinitude of God and faith that collides with human reason and makes unexpected things happen. If it weren’t for our reason an act of faith would be nothing. For reason is what makes us doubt, that which makes a sacrifice that much more difficult to give up. Take the rich young ruler who is told to give up all his possessions, his reason tells him not to and thus he denies the opportunity for his faith and reason to collide. It takes the suspension of sensible reason and the enacting of ludicrous reason in order bring about the strength of the absurd. If Abraham had not trusted in the absurd thought that God would provide, because humanity is so used to living the world of scarcity, how different would this event in history be? If we were to trust in the strength of the absurd how different would our lives be?

May we be granted the grace to look for the absurd, to trust in that which seems ludicrous to the rest of the world. For God chose what is foolish, faith is foolishness and reason walking the fine line together. It takes balance to walk the tight-rope. Perhaps it takes living in this paradox to walk the tight-rope of faith and a life of absurdity.

This summer I have photographed two friends’ weddings. The battle is always how to maintain your duties as the wedding photographer, yet (as the B&G request) have fun at the reception. Well, as you can see, I think I found a happy medium. I used the fireplace mantel in the reception hall as a place to set my camera on and hit the self timer! I think it turned out alright (I am the goofy lookin guy with the glasses). Although I think I like being on the other side of the camera.

Here is a quick preview of some of my favorite pics from Becky and Noah’s wedding.

(Click on thumbnails for full sized images)